We are bombarded with them as long as we watch TV, listen to radio or otherwise participate in American life. Even public radio and TV have begun allowing them, albeit in abbreviated form. Though ad copywriters have jazzed them up to reach the younger generations (who spend most of the money, after all) there are recurrent themes which are still used, which, as a public service, I will attempt to deconstruct for you.
“Clinically Proven”. Used mostly with drug ads. “Clinically”. Conjours up some kind of medical facility. When I was a kid, “clinics” were places where poor people went to be treated. Nowadays, it sort of means a facility or process where products are tested on people to see if they work. “Proven”. Implies that efficacy has been confirmed. Absolutely. No question. As a scientist in an earlier life, I would ask, where’s the data? Who conducted the study? More than likely, it’s just a throwaway line. Is anybody convinced?
“Fight”. We hear this a lot during election season. “I’ll fight for you. I’ll fight for your right to (fill in the blanks). How? Fisticuffs? Pistols? A rasslin match? More than likely, just empty words (except, maybe, for the U.S.House…). Didn’t people once fight duels? Seems to have fallen out of fashion.
“Pure”. I remember an Ivory Soap ad from childhood. “Ivory Soap is 99 and 44/100% Pure. It Floats!”. Lots of things would if they had air blown in during the manufacturing process, but how is this indicative of purity. Here again, chemistry gets in the way of understanding a simple concept. To a physical scientist, a mixture is defined as two ore more substances blended together. A “pure” substance is one consisting of a single entity. That’s all, Folks!
We all know we need to eat more veggies. You may not care for the taste, texture, etc. of vegetables. But hey Good news!. You can now get these diet staples in a chewable form! Just like candy! Goody, goody gumdrops (I mean that literally)! “Balance of Nature”: Doesn’t that sound healthful?
“Not your father’s Oldsmobile”. A catchphrase from back in the day. Cars going in all sorts of terrain (dirt roads, mountain passes, sand dunes, beaches). More likely, stuck in traffic, but they don’t show this in ads. BTW, Oldsmobiles are no longer made. In case you didn’t know.
Ads seem to come in seasons, so to speak. We just got through the election season. Didn’t know how evil my candidates were. No wonder we are in such a state! Now that political ads have abruptly ended, we came into Open Season. No, I don’t mean hunting. It’s time to reexamine your healthcare options! Ads seem to be aimed (fired?) at seniors. Guess we need more help. Must be profitable for insurance companies. Aren’t some literally offering a free lunch? Next, the Xmas shopping season. Can’t hardly wait.
Then we have the cruise ads. Wouldn’t you want to “explore the world in comfort”? At least one version of Viking’s commercial offers child-free sailing. Might appeal to the Bill Maher types; to me, no kids is kind of depressing.
Another ad targeted at seniors. Seems like a substance first detected…”in jellyfish” could protect us from, er, being less sharp (or make us more sharp)? No, it is not being touted as an over-the-counter cure for dementia, but who knows? Has prevagen been clinically proven? Not yet, but stay tuned.
Just a few examples. I’m sure any of you could come up with more.
Rogernarc 